Doolally tap and the next big thing

My Nan always used the phrase doolally tap when I was a kid to describe someone who’d gone nuts. You might have come across the more commonly used shortened version - doolally. I always thought she’d added the last bit on by herself but it seems not.

Collins - Word Origins

C19: originally military slang, from Deolali, a town near Mumbai, the location of a military sanatorium + Hindustani tap fever

Anywhoo… things have been going well over here…too well really. I’ve even stopped biting my nails. Which makes me worry. Not that I need an excuse to worry of course, It’s my default setting. Indeed the longer the period of quiet contentment the more the fear builds of the unseen and silently growing disaster that will definitely engulf me when least expected. 

Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you! Lol.

Man, it’s bloody exhausting being nuts. 

Of course I have been here before (in every sense) so it’s come as no surprise that the old noggin has started fraying at the edges a bit. Moments of forgetfulness have increased tenfold and my ability to multitask has disappeared entirely. 

The number of times I’ve thought I’ve left comments on blogs or answered emails is ridiculous - so if you think I’m snubbing you, nope, soz,  I’m just in a bit of a blue funk at the mo. (Does anyone other than Biggles actually say that?). I still love you. It’s me not you. (Been a while since I’ve had to say that). 

Probably as a fallout from this there’s been some fun with lost car keys and last week a lost wallet (containing every possible piece of frustratingly difficult to replace - yet totally essential documentation). 

Amusingly it seems that when I lose my shit… I actually lose my shit! 

Which brings us to the next big thing. 

I’ve owned and sold…and lost, and re bought…and then sold again ECW armies in every scale (apart from 54mm). Although it remains my favourite gaming period I just didn’t feel I had it in me to repeat the laborious and costly process once again. But with the likes of Iain over at Caveadsum 1471 taunting me with his ever growing collection, who was I kidding? 

So the next big thing is ECW. Again. 

Now don’t sigh but I’ve gone for 2mm once more because the advantages of this scale are many fold. 

1. No bendy pikes. I loved my Baccus 6mm lads and had many a good game out of them but the delicate pikes were a nightmare.

2. Pikes in a single tall block. Not pikes that are irritatingly short and are more like spears (I’m looking at you Pendraken 10mm).

3. 2mm has only a modest array of representational « types ». My wonderful 15mm PP ECW lads were (as always at PP) a pretty decent price per pack…however…there are so many wonderful packs you ended up spending a bloody fortune. I also insist on trying to paint them as though they are 28’s.

4. They’re 3D. The Wofun 18mm flats were an instant army solution for this lazy gamer but they were expensive and somehow never really floated my boat. Does that make me a « sideist » ?

5. I can continue to eat meat and don’t have to sell a kidney. Anything over 20mm is sooooo costly if you are looking to do some of the real big battles at anything like a realistic scale. 

6. The ends in sight. Well I’m 60 now, so I don’t fancy spending the next two precious years building up a reasonable force that’ll end up in a skip when I’ve shuffled off this mortal coil. That’s two years I could’ve spent on drugs and hookers as Stew might’ve said. In two years time I’ll probably be into Space Nazis or some other nonsense and deeply resentful of the untouched ECW lead pile taunting me from the cupboard of shame. Gotta get this project done well…and on the hurry up.

So what went wrong with 2mm last time around? 

1. The rules. I bought Twilight of the Divine Right and hated them with a passion that I can barely express. Odd since I know that Chris at Horse and Musket likes ‘em and we see eye to eye on most things.

2. The standard units supplied by Irregular are regiments in different size and armament proportions. I just went with it and based away. Natch. Lovely. Except upon completion I recalled that most regiments were routinely merged into standard sized battalia for combat purposes, so my representation of them for larger engagements…was…erm…wrong. Aaargh.

Both of these points are correctable, I’ve now written my own rules, which unsurprisingly I rather like, and I’ve purchased different components from Irregular with which to construct realistic battalia on a broadly 1:3 ratio (thanks to Elenderil’s previous posts over at Small but Perfectly Formed). 

2mm Battalia. Horrible close up but forgivable at arms length. I remember a teacher saying something similar about me a long time ago. 

Crimmeny or Jings (as they say in Scottish comics from the 1950´s) I’ve even managed to get the terrain looking okay. Representational woodland for your delight and delectation.

All of which will lead me back to a slightly revised version of my ECW alt history campaign from the old blog that some of you may remember.

So that’s still to look forward to. Unless you hate the ECW and think that the ACW is the best CW. (As if). 

Time wise I’m going to take a bit of a pause in posting I think while I assemble my two opposing factions for this slugfest. Maybe do one post in December then come back in Jan 24. Part of me is wondering if this might be a good way to round things off in toto. Going out as I came in so to speak, with an ECW campaign. I like the symmetry of it. I’ll get back to you on that one. The jury is still out.

If I don’t drop a post before the big day have a great Xmas, kwanza, festivus, bachanalian mid winter sex feast or whatever is your jam.

Toodleooh.

 

Tools of the trade

I so so wanted to call this post « polishing my helmet » but after the fallout from « check out my junk » (on the old blog) I didn’t dare.

Now then…one of the only downsides to zoom gaming, (of which I have been doing more of my fair share of late) is that people get to see the kind of crack den / sex dungeon / doom preppers bunker that you regularly inhabit. Last night I realised that my regular background view might require a bit of further explanation if I’m ever to get another invite to a game. 

The longest serving of the cognoscenti may recall that I used to style myself a method wargamer, someone who wanted to know what it was like to wear the kit and use the weapons that my miniature chaps are forced to wield. It was this mind set that led me into re enactment and which allowed me to accumulate quite a hoard of medieval and ECW kit - until my first move to France saw the majority of it getting sold off.

On this my second (and final) sojourn to la belle France I’ve been lucky enough to have a dedicated games room, but it was looking a bit devoid of character until a chance encounter with an Adrian helmet at a local brocante got me thinking about tarting my new space up with something other than a bit of emulsion and the odd family photo.

Spurred on by the impulse purchase of this French military icon, the initial concept was just a display of a few more helmets but it soon morphed into helmet types and equipment that I’d worn and used in the past. Since, as I said, most of my original gear is now long gone, I started looking at the websites of people who make museum grade replicas replacements.

And just like that my wallet emptied.

Now I’d be the first to admit that having weapons on the wall is a tad…I dont know…vulgar? But I’m justifying this collection as literally a personal history trail so hopefully folk won’t feel the need be too judgy. Rest assured there will be no machine guns or nazi memorabilia here…no sireee Bob. (Especially after my “tussle” with an SS Feldpolizei reenactor at the Kent military show ground in 2013 - story for another day I’m afraid). ((Mutters under breath..Man I hate wannabe nazi’s…))

My new collection will be small and limited to my main areas of interest, i.e. ECW and early to late medieval and, unlike the blunted weapons I used when teaching people how to kill each other at RegIa Anglorum, this time they can and will be fully functional.

Philosophical question. Is reenacting or war gaming military conflicts from beyond living memory more palatable? Is anyone doing Ukraine / Russia yet? And if they were how would you feel about it?  Discuss. 

Okay back on topic. 

Helmets.

Here’s a piccie of the Adrian helmet that started the whole thing.

The Adrian style helmet is a design classic in my eyes and although they can be quite commonly found in junk shops etc over here they seem to suffer from Volkswagen badge disease. On the front of the helmet is meant to be a device showing the arm of service to which the helmet was issued but almost every time you find an Adrian helmet here the damned badge thingy is missing.

This particular one was issued to the Chasseurs Pied chaps (hence the hunting horn badge) and is an M15 version made from three pieces with a single large vent hole under the crest. There’s still faint traces of blue grey paint in places and given its 1915 production date it most likely saw service in WW1.

So that was the trigger for this particular spending spree, but it was only the inspiration and not actually linked with anything I’ve either gamed or re enacted.

Let’s get on to to my personal history trail.

First up is a Spangenhelm. Worn pretty much across Europe and the British Isles between the eighth and 11th centuries, it’s made up of four metal plates, cross ribs and a brow band with a nasal. It’s pretty much a direct descendant of earlier forms like late Roman cavalry helmets but without the cheek guards. Some examples have an aventail and back in the day I owned several of them, one of which sported said aventail cos it somehow looked more war like. (Yeah. I know, right).

I used to train folks to fight with sword, axe and spear and sure the sword and the axe look more sexy, but, just like the less glamorous artillery of WW1…the spear is definitely the main killer on the early medieval battlefield. 

With that in mind here is a winged spear originally designed for boar hunting (the wings prevent an injured boar from dragging its way up the shaft to get at you and also prevents too deep a penetration (potentially getting the weapon stuck in the target). 

The wings in combat are ideal for hooking over the rim of an enemy shield and dragging it away from the holders body. If you work in two person spear teams in a shield wall your mate on the left can wait for you to hook a shield and pull it away from the opponents body then he can stab his spear into the gap you’ve created and… erm… slot him…as modern soldiers apparently say. * Attacking on the diagonal like this is a common tactic in re enactment and I’ve often wondered if that’s why chess pawns are depicted attacking that way too?

The one below is a 2m long two handed spear and you use it with your shield slung on your back (or on its strap across your left front / shoulder).

Swords. I’m still waiting on the Copper Gate helmet reproduction to go with this magnificent 7th century sword. It’s a copy of the Fetter Lane sword found in London in 1893. It’s posher than the one I used in RegIa but hey it was a 60th birthday treat so what the hell. And yes… it’s sharp. The hilt is really fancy and the blade is a very nice patterned Damascus steel but this isn’t a very good picture unfortunately. Point of balance is around 5 inches along the blade which makes it a pretty hefty piece for chopping with. 

The Current Mrs Broom - who’s ace at needlework etc… hell she’s just ace - did me two faux Bayeux Tapestry pictures for my walls as well. One is taken directly from the tapestry but has Harold holding a spear rather than plucking an arrow from his eye (see the whole « was the tapestry altered » theory) and the other being the work of Stew (sadly not blogging at the mo) which makes me laugh every time I see it.

Here’s a slightly better picture of the sword, (in the wrong place of course thanks to blogger) courtesy of the blokes “what made it”.

Next up, here’s a Sallet helmet circa 1470.  I had two goes with my original of this at the yearly Tewkesbury battle re enactment. I was only a grunt and actually a guest of one of the societies staging the event. (I borrowed most of my kit for this). I wanted to join the group but the cost of yet more equipment, fees, and of course the time meant that I never got fully into it. 

And the item underneath the spear was what I was wielding at Tewkesbury - well a blunt version at any rate. It’s an English Bill, a close cousin of the Halberd if you were wondering. 

I reckon I should be sorted come the zombie apocalypse. Lol. 

Then there’s Meg my matchlock musket - last fired in 2016 and probably never going to be fired again…which is sad. Glad I never sold it cos I think it looks okay up on the wall, instead of locked in a gun safe as it was in the UK. I never used the apostles since my re enactment regiment (Sir William Pennymans Regiment of Foote) was a royalist one that upon re equipping in Oxford was issued paper cartridges in a leather bag (due to equipment shortages) in 1642 / 1643.

Roaring Meg - roars no more.

I think that’s probably enough militaria for one day. Might do another post on new additions as and when they arrive. 

Final thought. We only get to play at war with our toy soldiers. No one gets hurt (unless you mishandle wire spears…lol.) In reality it takes a brave man to stand against maniacs waving real weapons at you, so don’t be too hard on your chaps when they next fail a morale check. How brave would you be?

Toodleooh.

*Remind me to tell you sometime about the day I cut half of a blokes ear off and lost a tooth to a blunted axe in the mouth by way of compensation. True story. 

*Disclaimer* (I am aware that my never ending supply of wild stories can sound a bit like, BS, but honestly when it comes to life I seem to have the reverse Midas touch. Shit just seems to happen to me). The only saving grace is that given the passage of time even the worst happenings can seem quite amusing, and that’s something to cling on to in this crazy upside down world. N’est - ce pas?