Doolally tap and the next big thing

My Nan always used the phrase doolally tap when I was a kid to describe someone who’d gone nuts. You might have come across the more commonly used shortened version - doolally. I always thought she’d added the last bit on by herself but it seems not.

Collins - Word Origins

C19: originally military slang, from Deolali, a town near Mumbai, the location of a military sanatorium + Hindustani tap fever

Anywhoo… things have been going well over here…too well really. I’ve even stopped biting my nails. Which makes me worry. Not that I need an excuse to worry of course, It’s my default setting. Indeed the longer the period of quiet contentment the more the fear builds of the unseen and silently growing disaster that will definitely engulf me when least expected. 

Just because you’re paranoid, it doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you! Lol.

Man, it’s bloody exhausting being nuts. 

Of course I have been here before (in every sense) so it’s come as no surprise that the old noggin has started fraying at the edges a bit. Moments of forgetfulness have increased tenfold and my ability to multitask has disappeared entirely. 

The number of times I’ve thought I’ve left comments on blogs or answered emails is ridiculous - so if you think I’m snubbing you, nope, soz,  I’m just in a bit of a blue funk at the mo. (Does anyone other than Biggles actually say that?). I still love you. It’s me not you. (Been a while since I’ve had to say that). 

Probably as a fallout from this there’s been some fun with lost car keys and last week a lost wallet (containing every possible piece of frustratingly difficult to replace - yet totally essential documentation). 

Amusingly it seems that when I lose my shit… I actually lose my shit! 

Which brings us to the next big thing. 

I’ve owned and sold…and lost, and re bought…and then sold again ECW armies in every scale (apart from 54mm). Although it remains my favourite gaming period I just didn’t feel I had it in me to repeat the laborious and costly process once again. But with the likes of Iain over at Caveadsum 1471 taunting me with his ever growing collection, who was I kidding? 

So the next big thing is ECW. Again. 

Now don’t sigh but I’ve gone for 2mm once more because the advantages of this scale are many fold. 

1. No bendy pikes. I loved my Baccus 6mm lads and had many a good game out of them but the delicate pikes were a nightmare.

2. Pikes in a single tall block. Not pikes that are irritatingly short and are more like spears (I’m looking at you Pendraken 10mm).

3. 2mm has only a modest array of representational « types ». My wonderful 15mm PP ECW lads were (as always at PP) a pretty decent price per pack…however…there are so many wonderful packs you ended up spending a bloody fortune. I also insist on trying to paint them as though they are 28’s.

4. They’re 3D. The Wofun 18mm flats were an instant army solution for this lazy gamer but they were expensive and somehow never really floated my boat. Does that make me a « sideist » ?

5. I can continue to eat meat and don’t have to sell a kidney. Anything over 20mm is sooooo costly if you are looking to do some of the real big battles at anything like a realistic scale. 

6. The ends in sight. Well I’m 60 now, so I don’t fancy spending the next two precious years building up a reasonable force that’ll end up in a skip when I’ve shuffled off this mortal coil. That’s two years I could’ve spent on drugs and hookers as Stew might’ve said. In two years time I’ll probably be into Space Nazis or some other nonsense and deeply resentful of the untouched ECW lead pile taunting me from the cupboard of shame. Gotta get this project done well…and on the hurry up.

So what went wrong with 2mm last time around? 

1. The rules. I bought Twilight of the Divine Right and hated them with a passion that I can barely express. Odd since I know that Chris at Horse and Musket likes ‘em and we see eye to eye on most things.

2. The standard units supplied by Irregular are regiments in different size and armament proportions. I just went with it and based away. Natch. Lovely. Except upon completion I recalled that most regiments were routinely merged into standard sized battalia for combat purposes, so my representation of them for larger engagements…was…erm…wrong. Aaargh.

Both of these points are correctable, I’ve now written my own rules, which unsurprisingly I rather like, and I’ve purchased different components from Irregular with which to construct realistic battalia on a broadly 1:3 ratio (thanks to Elenderil’s previous posts over at Small but Perfectly Formed). 

2mm Battalia. Horrible close up but forgivable at arms length. I remember a teacher saying something similar about me a long time ago. 

Crimmeny or Jings (as they say in Scottish comics from the 1950´s) I’ve even managed to get the terrain looking okay. Representational woodland for your delight and delectation.

All of which will lead me back to a slightly revised version of my ECW alt history campaign from the old blog that some of you may remember.

So that’s still to look forward to. Unless you hate the ECW and think that the ACW is the best CW. (As if). 

Time wise I’m going to take a bit of a pause in posting I think while I assemble my two opposing factions for this slugfest. Maybe do one post in December then come back in Jan 24. Part of me is wondering if this might be a good way to round things off in toto. Going out as I came in so to speak, with an ECW campaign. I like the symmetry of it. I’ll get back to you on that one. The jury is still out.

If I don’t drop a post before the big day have a great Xmas, kwanza, festivus, bachanalian mid winter sex feast or whatever is your jam.

Toodleooh.

 

Tools of the trade

I so so wanted to call this post « polishing my helmet » but after the fallout from « check out my junk » (on the old blog) I didn’t dare.

Now then…one of the only downsides to zoom gaming, (of which I have been doing more of my fair share of late) is that people get to see the kind of crack den / sex dungeon / doom preppers bunker that you regularly inhabit. Last night I realised that my regular background view might require a bit of further explanation if I’m ever to get another invite to a game. 

The longest serving of the cognoscenti may recall that I used to style myself a method wargamer, someone who wanted to know what it was like to wear the kit and use the weapons that my miniature chaps are forced to wield. It was this mind set that led me into re enactment and which allowed me to accumulate quite a hoard of medieval and ECW kit - until my first move to France saw the majority of it getting sold off.

On this my second (and final) sojourn to la belle France I’ve been lucky enough to have a dedicated games room, but it was looking a bit devoid of character until a chance encounter with an Adrian helmet at a local brocante got me thinking about tarting my new space up with something other than a bit of emulsion and the odd family photo.

Spurred on by the impulse purchase of this French military icon, the initial concept was just a display of a few more helmets but it soon morphed into helmet types and equipment that I’d worn and used in the past. Since, as I said, most of my original gear is now long gone, I started looking at the websites of people who make museum grade replicas replacements.

And just like that my wallet emptied.

Now I’d be the first to admit that having weapons on the wall is a tad…I dont know…vulgar? But I’m justifying this collection as literally a personal history trail so hopefully folk won’t feel the need be too judgy. Rest assured there will be no machine guns or nazi memorabilia here…no sireee Bob. (Especially after my “tussle” with an SS Feldpolizei reenactor at the Kent military show ground in 2013 - story for another day I’m afraid). ((Mutters under breath..Man I hate wannabe nazi’s…))

My new collection will be small and limited to my main areas of interest, i.e. ECW and early to late medieval and, unlike the blunted weapons I used when teaching people how to kill each other at RegIa Anglorum, this time they can and will be fully functional.

Philosophical question. Is reenacting or war gaming military conflicts from beyond living memory more palatable? Is anyone doing Ukraine / Russia yet? And if they were how would you feel about it?  Discuss. 

Okay back on topic. 

Helmets.

Here’s a piccie of the Adrian helmet that started the whole thing.

The Adrian style helmet is a design classic in my eyes and although they can be quite commonly found in junk shops etc over here they seem to suffer from Volkswagen badge disease. On the front of the helmet is meant to be a device showing the arm of service to which the helmet was issued but almost every time you find an Adrian helmet here the damned badge thingy is missing.

This particular one was issued to the Chasseurs Pied chaps (hence the hunting horn badge) and is an M15 version made from three pieces with a single large vent hole under the crest. There’s still faint traces of blue grey paint in places and given its 1915 production date it most likely saw service in WW1.

So that was the trigger for this particular spending spree, but it was only the inspiration and not actually linked with anything I’ve either gamed or re enacted.

Let’s get on to to my personal history trail.

First up is a Spangenhelm. Worn pretty much across Europe and the British Isles between the eighth and 11th centuries, it’s made up of four metal plates, cross ribs and a brow band with a nasal. It’s pretty much a direct descendant of earlier forms like late Roman cavalry helmets but without the cheek guards. Some examples have an aventail and back in the day I owned several of them, one of which sported said aventail cos it somehow looked more war like. (Yeah. I know, right).

I used to train folks to fight with sword, axe and spear and sure the sword and the axe look more sexy, but, just like the less glamorous artillery of WW1…the spear is definitely the main killer on the early medieval battlefield. 

With that in mind here is a winged spear originally designed for boar hunting (the wings prevent an injured boar from dragging its way up the shaft to get at you and also prevents too deep a penetration (potentially getting the weapon stuck in the target). 

The wings in combat are ideal for hooking over the rim of an enemy shield and dragging it away from the holders body. If you work in two person spear teams in a shield wall your mate on the left can wait for you to hook a shield and pull it away from the opponents body then he can stab his spear into the gap you’ve created and… erm… slot him…as modern soldiers apparently say. * Attacking on the diagonal like this is a common tactic in re enactment and I’ve often wondered if that’s why chess pawns are depicted attacking that way too?

The one below is a 2m long two handed spear and you use it with your shield slung on your back (or on its strap across your left front / shoulder).

Swords. I’m still waiting on the Copper Gate helmet reproduction to go with this magnificent 7th century sword. It’s a copy of the Fetter Lane sword found in London in 1893. It’s posher than the one I used in RegIa but hey it was a 60th birthday treat so what the hell. And yes… it’s sharp. The hilt is really fancy and the blade is a very nice patterned Damascus steel but this isn’t a very good picture unfortunately. Point of balance is around 5 inches along the blade which makes it a pretty hefty piece for chopping with. 

The Current Mrs Broom - who’s ace at needlework etc… hell she’s just ace - did me two faux Bayeux Tapestry pictures for my walls as well. One is taken directly from the tapestry but has Harold holding a spear rather than plucking an arrow from his eye (see the whole « was the tapestry altered » theory) and the other being the work of Stew (sadly not blogging at the mo) which makes me laugh every time I see it.

Here’s a slightly better picture of the sword, (in the wrong place of course thanks to blogger) courtesy of the blokes “what made it”.

Next up, here’s a Sallet helmet circa 1470.  I had two goes with my original of this at the yearly Tewkesbury battle re enactment. I was only a grunt and actually a guest of one of the societies staging the event. (I borrowed most of my kit for this). I wanted to join the group but the cost of yet more equipment, fees, and of course the time meant that I never got fully into it. 

And the item underneath the spear was what I was wielding at Tewkesbury - well a blunt version at any rate. It’s an English Bill, a close cousin of the Halberd if you were wondering. 

I reckon I should be sorted come the zombie apocalypse. Lol. 

Then there’s Meg my matchlock musket - last fired in 2016 and probably never going to be fired again…which is sad. Glad I never sold it cos I think it looks okay up on the wall, instead of locked in a gun safe as it was in the UK. I never used the apostles since my re enactment regiment (Sir William Pennymans Regiment of Foote) was a royalist one that upon re equipping in Oxford was issued paper cartridges in a leather bag (due to equipment shortages) in 1642 / 1643.

Roaring Meg - roars no more.

I think that’s probably enough militaria for one day. Might do another post on new additions as and when they arrive. 

Final thought. We only get to play at war with our toy soldiers. No one gets hurt (unless you mishandle wire spears…lol.) In reality it takes a brave man to stand against maniacs waving real weapons at you, so don’t be too hard on your chaps when they next fail a morale check. How brave would you be?

Toodleooh.

*Remind me to tell you sometime about the day I cut half of a blokes ear off and lost a tooth to a blunted axe in the mouth by way of compensation. True story. 

*Disclaimer* (I am aware that my never ending supply of wild stories can sound a bit like, BS, but honestly when it comes to life I seem to have the reverse Midas touch. Shit just seems to happen to me). The only saving grace is that given the passage of time even the worst happenings can seem quite amusing, and that’s something to cling on to in this crazy upside down world. N’est - ce pas?

AWI Campaign 9th July 1777 - The Last Hurrah

Huzzah for General Cummings and Parrott. Stout fellows!

The story so far. 

The British under General Parrott had discovered the American guns on the cliffs at Pringle Point but a stout defence from the untrained militia had fought them to a standstill. Overnight the British pulled back to regroup,  joined early on the 9th by the remnants of the dragoons and two fresh battalions of light bobs under general Sykes.

The American General Cummings had been surprised and relieved at his militias stout defence and even as the British pulled back his own reinforcements began to gather.

We take up the action sometime around turn 3. General Cummings and his continentals have arrived in the far right corner of the map, artillery following, and his fast moving riflemen outpacing the main column to take up positions at the edge of the woods.

General Parrott has retired from the previous battle at Pringles Point (top far left ish ) shadowed by two columns of Militia under General Motte. The previously mauled British dragoons swing around the hills (on the left) to join up with General Parrott. Meanwhile two battalions of light bobs finally make it to the dance under General Sykes. Supplies wise this encounter is pretty much shit or bust for the British. If they can cripple the Americans here they’ll still be able to march west and silence the now barely defended coastal artillery. 

First blood goes to General Parrott whose grenadiers turn on the shadowing American militia and inflict losses with a well timed volley to cover the unlimbering artillery.

The leading British light infantry engage in melee with the American riflemen in the woods but the advancing Continentals on their flank let loose a tremendous volley that shatters their confidence despite inflicting no real losses. Nerve broken they run. In Tricorne a flag rolled on a dice means the unit must retreat. The lights have Sykes with them and can ignore one flag but the other two means they have to retire two hexes. Sykes tests for being hit but perhaps because he leads from the back he turns out to be fine.

General Parrott’s artillery unlimber and fire at the shadowing militia. Casualties are inflicted and the militia have little choice but to try moving back out of range. Seeing that the Americans are now fully occupied by his artillery General Parrott moves his grenadiers into cover of the impassible terrain, intent on securing the central area of the map in order to bottle the Americans up in the one corner.

The light bobs under Sykes réorganise themselves after their fright and in the meantime the second battalion of lights advance towards the American rifles in the woods. Without the support of a senior officer to urge them on they are forced back by a fusillade of American rifle fire. Two flags rolled mean a retreat of two hexes and a morale check…

Which they fail! They needed to roll just 1 flag to pass and there are two flag symbols on each dice.

The battalion breaks and the demoralised men run from the battlefield. Oh the shame of it.

The American militia take more and more casualties from the British guns until they manage to retire out of range. This retirement unmasks the American artillery who begin a counter bombardment. After several turns the British gunners run, abandoning their damaged cannons. Fortunately the British dragoons finally show up. Should they charge the weak militia and brave the blizzard of fire before they can get to them or head off to support the grenadiers in the centre? Still nursing 2 out of 4 hits from the previous battle they choose the latter.

After reorganising, the remaining lights under Sykes begin a desultory long distance fire on the continentals but the results are poor and it becomes clear that must get in close to inflict any serious losses. Fortunately General Parrott with his grenadiers and dragoons come to the same conclusion and draw some of the American fire as they all advance into the centre at the same time.

The dragoons charge ahead of the grenadiers but take the brunt of the American firepower. They too break and run (or should that be gallop ?) from the field.

Finally generals Parrott and Sykes arrive at the enemy positions. But it’s General Cummings and General Parrott who face off as the continentals and the grenadiers go hand to hand.

Disaster. The grenadiers pile in - their blood up and the continentals are routed with heavy casualties. Somehow surviving the assault General Cummings takes shelter amongst the nearby riflemen.

General Parrot’s men turn to strike the riflemen in the tree line as a bonus attack but fail to dislodge them. The American militia rush to plug the gap in the pass left by the continentals.

Général Sykes men put the riflemen to the sword, chasing them through the woods. As they flee a final volley cuts more of them down and makes the survivors scatter.

Still mounted General Cummings tries to halt his fleeing men by waving his sword around in an encouraging manner but he too is cut down in the hail of fire. Shot in the back by the dastardly British!

Two crossed sabres in ranged fire = K I A. In melee only 1 is required.

Alas poor Cummings I knew him well. Sort of. 

Perhaps annoyed at Sykes’ success the grenadiers turned on the militia plugging the gap in the terrain and made short work of them. General Motte fled back to his second militia battalion.

The breaking militia unmasked the American artillery who swiftly loaded canister and readied for hand to hand combat. As the British grenadiers raced towards the gunners General Parrott riding bravely at their head the cannon let loose with a mighty roar.

General Parrott had written to his wife the day before the battle expressing his intent to be posted back to Sir Henry Clinton’s staff…and in this matter at least he got his wish. 

Shame he had to be posted back in several different parcels. Lol. 

Both sides had reached exhaustion. Sykes, knowing that his remaining troops were badly needed back at Coldstream and aware that American Provincials were somewhere to his rear (on the strategic map) called off the assault, while General Motte led the mauled remnants of his force back to the safety of the fortifications and the coastal cannon.

The loss of both Generals and the poor state of the remaining forces led this campaign i thought to a natural conclusion, though the matter of the greater strategic issue still needed to be resolved.

There were twelve ships in the British supply convoy and I intended that the coastal artillery would get a crack at them as they sailed past. I felt a 1D6 roll against each ship with a 6 reflecting its destruction would suffice for want of anything better. 

So I rolled this bucketful (apologies for the very dark image).

And found that not a single ship was sunk!

So where does that leave things?

General Cummings succeeded in his brief to protect the coastal artillery - albeit at the cost of his life, and General Parrott’s loss was also not in vain since the convoy got through and Sir Henry Clinton’s offensive could take place as planned.

Both of my generals were great sports and kept an old man thoroughly entertained as they struggled with the vagaries of fate. 

Mistakes were made and sometimes the generals made strange choices but it’s easy to criticise when you are aware of the complete picture…and they’re not.

Observations.

The use of a hexed map for the players to move their units over was a poor decision. It was overly complex and a point to point one would have been far better. Lesson learned. 

Each player was given 28 points pre game with which to purchase supplies, units, intelligence, seaborne landings etc. General Parrott spent heavily on high quality units, full intelligence and a seaborne landing but only 4 of his 28 points on supplies. Given that each turn his forces would use 1 point of supplies just marching in the field and 1 if any battle occurred this was a major error.  Fortunately for the British a lucky random event provided a few supplies from HQ which kept him going just long enough to get within striking distance of his objective. Just. The British had 1 unit of supplies left on the day of the final battle. This might help explain the mad mid game panic of promissory notes and his attempted slave rebellion. Lol. Displaying perhaps a little too much caution General Parrott had two good quality line units that never moved the whole game and whose only activity was to build defences in place. I suspect their presence would have swung the battle of Pringle Point in his favour. 

Ah well could’ve would’ve should’ve and all that.

General Cummings probably had less of a difficult job overall, but his reliance on cheap militia units nearly cost him dear. In his total command only the 1 unit of continentals and a battalion of rifles could be considered reliable. The good General spent heavily on supplies and expended lots of them building the large earthen fort that protected the militia and the guns at Pringle Point. Diplomatically he was very sure footed, showing steel in his dealings with the deserters and compassion with the errant farmers taking supplies to General Parrott. 

Should he have diverted a battalion of militia to protect the settlers from the Cherokee raiders? Mmmm. Maybe. Maybe not. Their absence wasn’t to prove decisive so any criticism is a little harsh. 

Despite the many positives I’ve listed here we have to remember that he still got shot in the back as his men ran away. So there’s that I suppose. Lol. 

Overall the campaign was quite short with only three battles - but in fairness I designed it that way so that it didn’t turn into a ball ache for all concerned. Hopefully it kept the two participants and you dear reader, amused?

Toodleooh