Excuses, excuses.
The garden has had all my focus this month, so there’s not been a lot of hobby progress. With that said it’s been glorious weather and good for the noggin to be outside with the chickens…of which more in a mo.
As you can see below, I’ve completed the first English box of Perrys infantry and have moved on to the French. Slow progress and not my best work but they’re reasonable gaming standard and I’m still enjoying the painting process.
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| An English ‘herce’ formation as described in Never Mind The Billhooks’. |
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| A company of French crossbowmen - which I might deploy as two 6 man skirmish units. |
Wokeness in the coop.
A few posts ago I put up a photo of two new Silkie chucks - sold to me as hens. Turns out that Edna (the white one) is actually a cockerel and wishes to be called Eddie from here on in. Mmmm. Our neighbour Marie Theresa has been mystified about my choice of chickens to date (not exactly major egg layers or practical birds in any sense) and having heard from the wife about Edna’s transformation asked…in French…
(WARNING -skip down a paragraph or two if you’re easily offended by graphic content)…
‘if she could see my cock’.
Yes really. *
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| Marie Theresa and I. The moustache is an absolute fanny magnet. I’m having to beat ‘em off with a stick at the moment. Well I am if they’re over 80 and French. Excuse the 1970’s lime green leather chair. I have a bit of a pash for seventies furniture. |
This alarming exchange came a week after the missus encountered the apparently pregnant 85 year old struggling up the chemin. The foetus in question turned out to actually be a canard sauvage (wild duck) that she’d captured on the pond at the bottom of her field. She’d stuffed it under her jumper (worn whatever the weather) so that it couldn’t see and wouldn’t know how to get home if it escaped. Very sensible. For those wondering how an 85yr old captures a wild duck, she claims that she charmed it with her singing and the same technique worked on a Canadian Goose last year.
More crisp news
Stung by my criticism of the French crisp industry, French flavour scientists have sought to top their recent falafel flavour with these… I have to wonder where this endeavour will end (possibly me dying of a crisp overdose at 25 stone).
* I come from a working class ‘broken home’ in the West Midlands - so I find a degree of humour in such crudeness where folk of more refined sensibilities or better breeding do not. Apologies if you are one of the better sort.
More interesting tales from the Frontier and your latest painting efforts look fab to me. Good job!
ReplyDeleteCheers Jon. There’s a lot of stories still to be told of life out here. Not everyone’s cup of tea , so I have to sprinkle them in now and then.
DeleteI have yet to see one of your tales in which I was not laughing as I read it. Keep 'em coming!
DeleteYou and your French birds! Oh I mean hens …… the army grows nicely, the good thing about NMtBH rules is that you don’t need too many figures before the reward of games can start.
ReplyDeleteHey Norm, yeah the army is growing alright but I’ve still light horse and several more boxes of infantry to order before I can really consider myself done. Oh and then there’s more scenery of course - I’ve book marked a company called the tabletop workshop who do some nice 28mm modular castle stuff in plastic for when I win spot the ball. Lol.
DeleteFine work Mark and personally gaming standard always works well for me, especially once on the table where the old eyes struggle to see the detail etc! Hmmm, 1970's furniture, not a fan to be honest. I think all those ubiquitous orange and browns, Lionel Blairs et al have scarred me for life;)! Lot's of gardening for me too, due to our current heatwave meaning it's too hot to game or even attempt to paint.
ReplyDeleteHi Steve, not sure why I like that period of furniture myself tbh, but I do. I’m trying to paint at night at the moment, when everything’s cooled down a tad. Too hot to concentrate on anything much…but it is blooming lovely isn’t it. The missus tells me today is the longest day. Soon be Christmas… lol.
DeleteYesterday felt like we were in the Med, with the heat, resin smells from the trees and the washed out blue of the sky:). Bloomin hard to sleep at night though, even with all the windows wide open! Today or tomorrow are the longest day, so always feel a bit sad thinking the nights begin to draw in after that;).
DeleteGreat work on the archers and a cracking read, gave me a proper laugh out loud moment!
ReplyDeleteThanks Donnie, the wife and I absolutely cracked up when she said it. The poor old soul was mortified when we explained what it was that we found so funny!
DeleteThe figures are very nice.... but the chair! Outstanding!
ReplyDeleteThank you Ivan that’s very kind of you. It’s a one off by a French designer (whose ruddy name I can’t remember at the mo) and was done for an expo in Paris in 78.
DeleteThe French obviously don't use the same crudity to describe a penis?? What I want to know is, why is an 80+-year-old kidnapping wild fowl - are they being added to a domestic flock or is she going to wring their necks and eat them?! I am assuming that another reason for stuffing them up her jumper is that there are laws about that sort of thing ..... even in rural France!
ReplyDeleteAnd I notice that somehow I missed your previous post - its all been said already but looked like a fantastic game!
Hey Keith, yeah the French do have a word for penis but you’ve got to remember you’re dealing with someone like me whose a sniggering moron. Any double entendre will do thank you very much. Not sure if catching the duck was against the law, it was on her pond after all. The wife assures me that duck and goose are both well. I think Marie Theresa just likes collecting wildfowl. I suppose it’s a hobby and I can’t judge cos I play with toy soldiers.
DeleteLOL - I would assume there is a word for penis in French, JBM - what I meant was, they obviously do not call it "le coq"!
DeleteThose French crisp manufacturers have certainly been stung into action by your barbs. Impressive work Mus-yeh.
ReplyDeleteMarie Theresa (the Empress-Queen and mother of Marie Antoinette) is looking well for her 300 years. But she looks frightened by that care in the community case.
Keep up the good work.
Chris
Care in the community…roflmao. I’m not sure I could look any more awkward if I tried. I got to be careful actually cos her husband is known round here as the Pradeix strangler. Don’t want him getting jealous.
DeleteAn enjoyable and entertaining post . I am still considering hens for the garden but not making any decisions. Hope the French knights were pleasant fellows if real or easy to assemble if not.
ReplyDeleteAlan Tradgardland
Hi Alan, thankfully they were the Perry Knights. If I manage to unstick my fingers from the spearmen I’ve just assembled I’ll get round to them soon. I’m beginning to wonder if I was always this hamfisted back in the day? Can’t remember finding kits as fiddly as I do these days.
DeleteVery nice figures JBM.
ReplyDeleteAnd well done on getting your neighbors talking about your strange cock. 😁
There you go Ben…that’s the kind of gutter humour and innuendo I’m talking about. Nice one. Anytime we have guests in the gîte I’ll pose that very question. What could possibly go wrong?
DeleteSee, we in the antipodes have the same sense of humour. Your double entendre was pretty mild really. A visiting sprintcar driver was asked about some of the differences between Australian and American English. "They use the 'c' word a lot", he said. "Ah you mean 'crikey' I presume", quipped the fast-thinking interviewer (also American).
DeleteWonderfully enjoyable post of an anglais en France!
Best wishes, James
Another piece of mildly rude British colloquialism that does not translate well in the US is the word twat....
DeleteI question all time spent with wildlife. Foreign or domestic. 😀
ReplyDeleteThen how do you explain your ongoing dalliance with anteater / penguin hybrids? lol.
DeleteThe figures look great, and great to read another episode of 'Carry On Up the Gites'.. Reminds me that a former boss of mine moved to the Lot Valley, near the little town of Montcuq - which apparently sounds like 'My Arse' in French. A wide range of appropriate postcards were available!
ReplyDeleteTeehee, almost! I think « cul » is the closest équivalant to arse (pronounced cuhl).
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