I was taking to my neighbour Élodie last week about regional accents. She claims she has one, though like all things French it’s totally and deliberately imperceptible to the unsophisticated.
(Put your hand up if you can tell the difference between a three year and a four year old wedge of Comte fromage? Yeah. Thought not).
I rest my case.
Anywhoo one thing led to another and I suggested that in exchange for her making me speak French, I would introduce her to some proper regional English (rather than my perfect “received pronunciation” BBC accent - for which I’m famous).
As an étranger (stranger) it’s nice to hear the occasional sentence in the dulcet tones of my hometown and though it’s been tough for her, our initial interactions now broadly follow this pattern…
Me: “Bonjour Élodie, comment ça va?” Kiss Kiss.
Élodie: “Ime oar roite tarr bab…” Kiss Kiss “Owsyure belly ferr spots these days?”
A charming and useful exchange should Élodie ever find herself in the West Midlands, I’m sure you’d agree. Of course she’s mighty chuffed with her new found linguistic skills and so we quickly moved on to the mastery of the traditional exclamation upon something going right.
Me: “C’est génial. (It’s great)
Élodie: “Iss bostin innit.”
With the basics under out belt we’ve now moved on to short useful phrases such as…
Me: “Élodie, pourquoi tu te prends la mouche?” (Literally and incomprehensibly - Élodie why have you seized / taken the fly? Apparently meaning Élodie why are you in a nark?).
Élodie: “Mark! Dohne nevah eat yeller snow, jew ear.”
Because of our runaway success with this I have written to the Wolverhampton tourist board asking if they can send any educational linguistic material they have on hand to help Élodie on her path to full fluency. If I can work up a proper course I reckon I should ask the mayor if I can teach the kids at the lycée in Bourganeuf. Think of it, yours truly single handedly helping to heal the wounds of Brexit. I always knew I was made for better things than playing with toy soldiers and digging holes (my other specialty).
On the subject of toy soldiers (finally), my mojo returned last week - and we’ve agreed to work on our relationship through counselling. I’m allowed to paint toy soldiers on the weekend, for now…and if my “anger issues” improve we’ll take it one step at a time from there.
Here’s some gratuitous pics of new arrivals and weekend painting that I’ll shamelessly use as click bait in order to get you to scroll through this screed of otherwise total nonsense.
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| Horses. Aaaagh. The bane of my (hobby) life. Only another 10 French knights to go. Should be finished in 2027 or thereabouts at my current pace. |
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| And the obligatory view from the back for those wishing to get their money’s worth. Not my best work, but serviceable. |
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| New arrivals. The gun group for the first anti fascist section / squad. To the right is the platoon commander who I’ve decided to call Leonard. |
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| The sections manoeuvre component. |
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| Gotta love the detail. This bank clerk’s even brought his brolly with him. |
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| Back view of one of Sarissa Precision’s destroyed city tiles. |
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| And the front view of the same corner shop piece. My BUF chap only popped into to get a packet of fags and look what happened. Told him not to spark up if he could smell gas. |
Toodleooh for now, mes amis.
Your language lessons certainly brought a smile to my face on a quiet Sunday afternoon, very enjoyable read. Your knights are rather good, I like them.The Sarissa ruined building tiles are very nice, really handy for the table.
ReplyDeleteHi Donnie, the knights look okay tbh and as usual digital photography is not your friend when posting pictures of your stuff on line. The Sarissa buildings are a bit pricey but when you’re crap at making stuff and your a bit impatient it seems like a good solution.
DeleteYou could expand your course into teaching the Brizzle (Bristol) dialect, which is easier to understand than that of Wolverhampton it seems. They've even published a book on the subject. Our daughter is due to take some evening classes in Nantes to learn more of the colloquial phrases that the French use, to help her feel fully at home. At the same time she is explaining to her partner our own, such as "that really get's my goat". As for regional accents, they went on holiday to the Ardeche last year and really noticed how different the accent was.
ReplyDeleteGood to see your painting mojo return and some nice units finished and on the go. The Sarissa Precision buildings I'd not seen before, but look pretty good to me. Keep buggering on old chap, as we say in Blighty!
PMSL!
ReplyDeleteThose VBCW fellas look bostin' moit! [A linguist interjects: could the West Midlands superlative 'bostin' be cognate with the Merseyside 'boss', as in the phrase "dat's boss dat is la"?]. I know a lad who's learned a bit of Chti (spelling?) because his wife's family live in that region. I thought it was just a French dialect until I read about Walloon recently.
Crikey that’s an interesting point actually Chris. I know a French Canadian guy who lives over here and no one can understand him apparently. Actually I just think they’re being mean tbh. I’m going to have to look up Chti and get back to you on that one.
DeleteThat was a lot of fun, I enjoyed that - and it's also thought-provoking. Many years ago, on a building-site in darkest Edinburgh, for reasons which I cannot remember, a young Hungarian chap got a temporary job as a general labourer, and his workmates took it upon themselves to teach him some basic English. In particular, they sent him to the local tobacconists and the sandwich shop for their messages, and rehearsed him on exactly what he should say when he got there. Sadly, he was arrested for extreme (though innocent) profanity and starting a fight in the tobacconists; even more sadly, I can't remember what happened after that, but it reminds me that this used to be regarded as an essential element in caring for foreign visitors - especially those who were a little dim. Apologies for the irrelevant tale, but it's your fault for reminding me of it.
ReplyDeleteI apologise for sending you off on one, but I suspect it doesn’t take much…lol. I had to show Elodie a YouTube video to prove that they seriously do talk like that in Wolverhampton. I think our accents are more concentrated / exaggerated than theirs are. I genuinely can’t pick up their regional differences but I do have somewhat of a tin ear!
DeleteGreat looking knights and new VBCW figures JBM.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the language lessons.....just what tourists to France need...locals speaking English with a Wolverhampton accent 😂
Should confuse a few folk to I reckon. lol.
DeleteThat’s a nice grouping of figures. I didn’t know Sarissa did pre-coloured buildings, what a good idea. I am super impressed that you got down onto the floor to photograph these ……. Did you ever get back up again! :-) I have taken your recent advice and put some 28’s on the painting corks - a pleasure indeed.
ReplyDeleteHey Norm, good to hear you’ve found the 28’s a bit easier on the peepers - I know I do. I’ve always ended up painting 10´s like they’re 15’s and 15´s like they’re 28´s for some reason. I never managed as a consequence to obtain the speed of production that the smaller scales promised. Actually the pictures were taken on my gaming table and not the floor. It has a rubberised yoga mat tile arrangement under any cloths or tiles I put on top. The idea was at one point to stick trees on pins and into the rubber, obviating the need for bases. Sarissa branched out into coloured buildings a while back and if your lazy and not especially skilled at scratch building (like me) they’re a simple and quick solution.
DeleteSoz Keith I deleted your comment by mistake!
ReplyDeleteI think as a foreign speaker, it's very hard to differentiate accents, be they French, German or another language. Having said that, I had the slightly unnerving experience at a local barbers shop in New Zealand where an Iraqi barber identified me as Scottish....when asked, he said his home town was Basra, which I immediately linked to the Gulf War and fact it was British/Scottish troops that "liberated" that part of Saddams country....
Bloody hell - never upset the barber has to be one of life’s golden rules. I’d have been out of there like a shot!
DeleteWelcome back mojo! The Knights look great and the VBCW are really nice figures. will no doubt look fab when painted, looking forward to that.
ReplyDeleteI was recently describing to Jon F the various Brit accents of his regular remote gamers, I'm sure this post will help him a lot..:) I do like the idea of 'Bostin' becoming a common usage in deepest rural France; if you keep promoting that, you may leave your own small mark on French culture! Isn't there a village in Italy with loads of Scots ancestry because a bunch of troops from Scotland stopped there on the way back from Pavia in 1525?
Hello David, I’d always hoped I’d be remembered for something more noble than teaching French people Wolverhamptonese, but I guess you have to play the cards you’re dealt. lol. You wouldn’t surprise me about the village in Italy…they’re a randy lot those jocks.
DeleteThanks for the morning laugh with my coffee JBM, great stuff.
ReplyDeleteLee.
Back? With a bloody vengeance! I have just picked myself up from rolling around the floor laughing. That was superb. Let alone the ridiculous thought of someone from another country perfecting one of your weird regional English accents and slang. Yellow snow. A comedy gem. 'Bostin' is new to me. I'll have to use it in conversation. Thanks so much for a wonderful, hearty laugh in the morning.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes, James
p.s. (Possibly) the trouble is that you are in the middle. You need to go to the North, or down south; they speak weird there (just like your mob 'back home'). When I went to Leipzig with a good friend of mine who speaks fluent German, he said "It's a shame that you can't hear the wonderful Saxon accent". I know precious little German, but could detect the beaut, sing-song way that they spoke. Sorta like the accent in Minnesota (think "Fargo").
p.p.s. The comment that you have heard about Quebecois is true. I watched (and enjoyed) the series "The Wall" recently, particularly the one set in Quebec City, but the French of the Canadiens(nes) was imperceptible to me. A bit like an English speaker who has learned a level of proper English (or more commonly, US English) trying to understand what you writ above or anything uttered by us mob here in Oz...)
p.p.p.s. Tony's anecdote reminded me of a similar tale here. At the university where I studied and worked for a while, a visiting fellow from France was working with one of our colleagues who used 'bloody' a lot (and a few others). The French fellow was later introduced to the Vice Chancellor at a semi-formal 'do' and said to the gentleman, "Hello, please let me introduce my phucking wife!" To the mirth of all 'in the know'. Said French gent knew exactly what he was saying...!!
p.p.p.p.s Oh yeah, those knnnnnights look sensational. Brilliant weathering effect on the armour and the little details are a delight. Dunno why you don't like 'doing' nags. You paint 'em a treat.
p.p.p.p.p.s That's enough of an indulgent comment from me innit?
Annoying, moi?
ReplyDeleteI think that you will enjoy this though. I have been quite regularly 'singing' bits of Ian Dury lyrics in my head ever since your previous post. Furthermore, they pop into my head whenever I visit your blog or see a comment from you somewhere. I 'spose that now I'll have Mr Dury and bostin' bobbing up at irregular intervals!