The missus has been in hospital for a bit, having a nasty old operation as it happens. Fortunately my natural self preservation instincts kicked in and I managed to survive the first week by fashioning a nest of twigs on top of the fridge freezer and stocking it with cheesy comestibles. I was still up there, munching on a stale pie crust and clad only in my underpants, when my youngest son flew over from the UK (on a plane, he’s not ruddy superman, even though he thinks he is) to rescue me.
He’d been sent by a higher authority (the wife) to teach me the ways of the Spag Bol, and teach me he did. Unfortunately this remains the only thing in my culinary locker, so to speak, and I’ve begun to develop a definite tomato based complexion that might take quite a while to wear off. ((Sigh)). Turns out you shouldn’t eat Spag Bol more than four times a week. Who knew?
Anywhoo the sprog also brought some post in with him, tempting me down from my kitchen based eyrie on a more permanent basis through the medium of newly arrived models and a quick AVBCW game, the result of which I cannot bring myself to share.
Some of the models, like my generalship were not so great, it has to be said, and as you can see from the poor fist I made of them (below) I was both nutritionally deprived and emotionally wrought whilst painting them.
Regrettably the mother in law seems to have pushed her way into the middle of the picture. Soz about that.
Truth be told there ain’t that many Selenite moon men models out there to choose from, so needs must when the devil drives, eh?
I was also in receipt of a handsome parcel of tanks which I will regale you with, dear reader, in later posts. Fanciful steam powered things they are, and unlike the moon men they are a wonder to behold. Also in the same parcel were some very nicely sculpted Prussian and home service British infantry. Very toy soldier(ish). Aly would have deffo painted them all shiny, and it wouldn’t take much to tip me over the edge on that front too. I can really see the attraction.
Got three of these buggers done before the missus returned home, looking far too chipper for someone that’s just has major surgery. Recovering well I’m pleased to report. I suspect it’s the healthy portions of Spag Bol I’ve been dosing her with since she got back.
By the way apologies are due to all you bloggers out there whose sterling work I usually comment on, but of late have not. My excuse is that we’ve had no internet for the best part of a week (Denial of service attack on Orange France apparently. I wonder which state actors could possibly be behind that?) and umptytump trips back and forth to the hospital in Limoges that’ve soaked up a lot of time.
So then, I’d better sling my hook. I’ve several pounds of mince here that’s not going to brown itself off and two or three packets of spaghetti to boil. Yum yum.
Toodleooh.



Very good to see that Mrs. JBM has made it back safely and soundly. Also very good to see that managed to survive in her absence. Your posts are always good for a laugh first thing in the morning. Great way to start my day. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Jon, good to know I can still raise a chuckle!
DeleteGlad to hear your wife is home and over her op. Nice work on the Home service Brits and Moon men, good start to your project.
ReplyDeleteHi Donnie, yeah it’s a start of sorts, but I’ve got a shed load of stuff to make and paint over the next few months. It’s been a bit hectic here this summer / autumn but hopefully it’ll calm down now and I can make some decent progress.
DeleteGlad to hear that your wife is on the road to recovery. Nice painting.
ReplyDeleteThank you Richard the wife is recovering well, however I have to say that my painting is only ever “wargaming standard” however hard I try.
DeleteBest wishes to the Current Mrs B.
ReplyDeleteYour kitchen looks bloody lovely. But you’re going to have to explain the rooks nest to me. Is it a French seasonal thing and you’re going native on us?
Ironic that it’s Orange they targeted, given that the Orange one is actively helping them.
Chris/Nundanket
Hey Chris. Sorry mate but the “nest” is an AI addition to a piccy of our drinks fridge. My son is convinced that I will go feral if I’m left on my own for more than five minutes, so it’s kind of an internal family joke, aimed at him. On a previous wifey hospital admission I existed for several days, much to his horror, on a diet of lion bars, cornflakes and crisps. (I’m afraid I don’t put much store in cooking and all that nonsense). As I explained to him at the time, my diet might have been unusual but it encompassed all the necessary food groups and a whole galaxy of vitamins and what not. I mean, crisps are potatoes, yes? And that’s basically a fruit. N”est ces pas?
DeleteCan't believe I've been duped by a Deep Fake! Glad you haven't gone ga-ga or too Gallic on us. Don't forget cornflakes have corn and Lion bars chocolate, both of which are also from plants.
DeleteIn your défense the nest does look quite real, lol. Note that lion bars probably contain traces of lion, which is of course protein.
DeleteAs always a very entertaining read Mark:)! Good to hear that SWMBO is doing well post-op, courtesy of copious quantities of said spag bol ;). Shame to hear about the internet outage, ditto all the shenanigans going on in France at present, especially the loss of the Limoges town hall:(.
ReplyDeleteHi Steve, yeah TCMB is doing okay, but her condition is a chronic one and the long term prognosis remains less than rosy. I had to nip into Limoges today as it happens. It’s only an hour away, but that’s close enough with all these shenanigans going on to be honest.
DeleteSorry to hear that Mrs Broom has been under the knife (such a charming phrase). Good to know she is recovering well. The painting looks good to me shaky hands or otherwise.
ReplyDeleteHi Dave. We’ve been frequent flyers at the Limoges hospital for that 10 years now, so we’re kind of old hands at this sort of thing. She’s doing okay but may have to go to Petit Sal Petrier in Paris next year which will be a ball ache for all concerned. Wobbly hands have improved massively but disturbingly there’s been no improvement in my painting ability. Even without an impediment I’m still only average at best. Hey ho. The Lord giveth and all that.
DeleteGood to hear Mrs. JBM is home and recovering well.
ReplyDeleteVery good that your son came over to help you through it.
Might be time to start a cookery class or two. I hear that the French are good at that, perhaps even better than the English 😁
Hello Ben, I’m afraid you’d be very disappointed at the cuisine in my part of France. Very basic is the kindest way of grading it. La Creuse (my department) is inhabited by peasant farmers and the produce in the shops and the items on any plat du jour reflect that. If your after boiled potatoes the size of a babies head, unidentifiable meat and semi liquid cabbage served in a thin watery “gravy” then we’ve got your back. Spices are unknown here as is flavour by and large. The council are putting a pizza machine on our village green. I expect it will be burnt down within a week or so. lol.
DeletePleased to hear Mrs BM is moving forward and recovering well. I have enjoyed this amusing post very much and await the steam tankie thing me bobs with interest.
ReplyDeleteAlan Tradgardland
Hello Alan, I’m glad you enjoyed the post, I’ve three “tanks” here at the moment, one French, one British and one Prussian / German - but I’ve my eye on a couple of others for an order in November. I think the Dampfsturmgeschutz will be the first cab off the rank.
DeleteHope all goes well with TCMB despite the somewhat gloomy prognosis you provided. I like the redcoats - they remind me of Pippin Fort!
ReplyDeleteHi Keith. Yeah those lads deffo have a pippin fort vibe going on there don’t they. I’ve a gun crew that look like the Trumpton fire brigade as well btw. Sadly I can still remember that the Trumpton bods were called Pew, Pew, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble and Grub.
DeleteSo pleased to hear that She who must be obeyed is safely returned to you and that the Spag Bol is doing the trick. I was very impressed at the eeire, although I fear that if I tried something similar here that planning enforcement officers would be kicking down the door citing various regulations that I had disregarded.
ReplyDeleteHello Michael, yeah I’m glad she’s back home safe, though it has to be said that the French health service is ruddy marvellous and they did a fine job of sticking her back together. I’m a little worried that she seems to be going off the SB for some reason, (is a twice a day serving too much?) so I might have to find alternative uses for the thirty or so batches I’ve cooked up. Perhaps it could be used as a wound dressing in some sort of poultice? Mmmm. Must look into that. I suspect the nest might indeed fall foul of the local fire regulations so I’d best keep the mayor and the pompiers at arms length for a week or so.
DeleteHi JB, good to hear that Mrs. JB is home and on the road to recovery ..... fortified of course by lashings and lashings of Spag Bol!
ReplyDeleteNice to get a bit of catch-up time with your son, though is it possible that he may have now passed on the full extent of culinary expertise? :-)
The British infantry are looking suitably dapper. Satin varnish might provide a rather nice half way house to gloss, it lifts the colour and with a hint of shine.
Hey ho Norm. I wish I could say that the lad was crap in the kitchen, but he’s a ruddy whizz. Gets it from his ma, without a doubt. There’s a kebab van that visits the village green on a Wednesday night. I might have to give that a go by way of a change. I think you’re right on the satin varnish front. I’ll give them a coat with it and see how they come out.
DeleteI was a bit disappointed to discover that your nest is a creation from AI as I actually have an identical (but real) version in my cellar right now…. It is positioned next to the Ice Cream making machine… In case of a frozen dessert related emergency.
ReplyDeleteLove the Selenite Moon Men… They remind me of my neighbours 😕
Yes… GLOSS!
It can only be GLOSS!
It’s good to hear that Mrs JB is back under the protection of her loved ones and well medicated on the cure all that is “Spag Bog” I can also recommend “ MacCheeze”…
Your Council are putting a Pizza Machine on your village green…Awesome.
Could they pop over and put one in my back garden 🤣
All the best old chap…. Aly
Hi Aly, I’m afraid I settled for satin in the end…but I’m deffo “gloss curious” as they say in modern parlance. Intrigued by this “McCheese” of which you speak… it too seems to contain all the essential nutrients and vitamins present in Spag Bol and could double my repertoire in one fell swoop. I’ll give it a go. We might have a new pizza machine thingy on the village green, but it’s nowhere near as impressive as having an emergency ice cream maker in the cellar. That’s ruddy posh, that is.
DeleteGlad Mrs JBM is on the mend after her surgery. Hope it was for something that won't rear it's ugly head again in the future.
ReplyDeleteEvery man should know how to burn meat on a BBQ and make Spag Bol. It's a bachelor's right of passage in my opinion (Chili Con Carne too). Spag and Chili kept me going (failing) through Art school many moons ago.
Moon men look nothing like The Clangers. I find I am a bit dissapointed. (They do look good though) And those spiffy red jacket'd fellows are all business in those fun Prussian helmets.
Have fun with those riots... :/
Cheers Dai, sorry the moon men aren’t clangerish enough. lol. They’re not great sculpts but I’ve done my best with them. I’m hoping to transition from Spag Bol to MacCheese or some such shortly, but I wouldn’t rule out chilli con carne if it comes ready made in a tin. On the cooking front I’ve been cursed for many years in two ways. Firstly I’m ruddy lazy and secondly my wife loves to cook. I’ve fought shy of involving myself in her sphere of influence on the basis that if she doesn’t ask me to cook, I won’t ask her to help fight off hordes of the undead in an apocalypse. Seems fair enough to me. Riots, yeah not nice. Peaceful protest here has been hijacked by the hard left so called black bloc but even the peaceful protesters didn’t number more than 0.82% of the French population. Not exactly a revolution. Reassuringly, the government remains in fear of the people here rather than the other way around. I have my yellow vest ready just in case mind you. On that subject, let’s hope violent disorder doesn’t break out over your way during the mid terms!
DeleteNice redcoats and moon people, I thought at first they were for AVBSW but was trying to work out where they were from? Glad your coming out of the other side of coping with medical care!
ReplyDeleteBest Iain
Cheers Iain, it’s been a long old slog…but we’re getting there. The moon men are from Pendraken by the way.
DeleteAre they moon men or some halloweeners dressed up?! I like their 'lasers' though. Lovely chaps in red with spiky pith helmets. You've done a fine job of both.
ReplyDeleteGlad that Mrs JBM is on the mend and pleased that you have learned a new skill. As one who likes to eat I have never understood blokes wot can't cook!
Best wishes, James
Hi James, glad you liked the selenites and the infantry. I have now added beans on toast (skinheads on a raft) to my repertoire. Next stop Masterchef.
DeleteNothing wrong with a weeks worth of Spag Bol!
ReplyDeleteCheers Ray, I’ll send you a weeks worth in the post and we’ll see how you get on with it! lol.
Delete