The comeback kid.

Yes, it’s me the comeback kid, and I’ve err….comeback. I wanted to insert a sound file of a trumpet fanfare at this point but all I can afford at the moment is a gif of an old man tooting out land of hope and glory on a kazoo, or an old woman farting the opening bars of rule Britannia, so I don’t think I’ll bother.

Back earlier than expected I know, but some of the things I knew would stop all hobby activity medical wise have been put back until October (ish), pending further tests.

The building work chez moi is finished and only came in at double the budgeted amount. ((Sigh). My elderly neighbour Marie Therese had previously pointed out a patch of rough plaster in our adjacent cottage that she claimed had been a doorway between our two properties back in the day. 

That’d be an old doorway with a pre existing lintel and easily chopped through rubble infill, of course.

Shame that when it came to it, it wasn’t actually there…or anywhere else for that matter. “Mmmm” said Jean Phillipe, having chopped all the plaster off the wall in search of it. Did I want to carry on? The little voice in my head that sometimes tells me to kill postmen said, “Nah, If you could just stick all that rubble back up where it came from I think we’ll call it quits eh? Oh and here’s a tenner for your trouble.” Fortunately I ignored my inner voice like the doctors advise, but instead I started to laugh. I was still laughing when the wife led me away for a little lie down. 

Instead of the aforementioned easily chopped through rubble in a former doorway we were met by a 1m thick granite wall that took two men three days to cut through. If I was of meaner stock I’d go round Marie Therese’s house and bust her upside her head with my pimp stick, or some such. Still, the wife encouragingly said that if  I go back on the game I should be able to settle the bill for the work in ten years or so, so no harm no foul I guess.

As I whinged on about during my previous break in radio silence, it’s been too hot en general for painting so in the the few precious hours when I wasn’t lugging tons of rock down to the bottom of the old jardin (and crying into my tea) I did a bit of play testing with my Bundooks Indian mutiny rules. 

Given they were all my own work I actually had some fun with them but when I tidied them up and passed them over to a couple of mates to review they found every chink in my logic and every spelling error I’d become blind too. Doh. I’m not sure I can thank them enough for their general patience and indeed the constructive criticism that has made version 3167 soooooo much better, but I’ll have a go. Cheers chaps, I’ll buy you a pint of crème de menthe if my spot the ball entry ever comes up good.

As a final test my lad is coming over in September and if he finds no issues I might go as far as to put them on Wargames Vault, who knows? Objectively I’ve deffo bought worse in the past ((coughs - Victorian submarine warfare)) and obviously in my current fiscal circumstances I can’t turn down the chance of making my first million by Christmas, now can I? Besides, it’ll be easier than standing in fish net stockings all night doing favours for sailors. I mean, these rules are hex based, 28mm, platoon level, in an obscure period with expensive models. What’s not to like, apart from hexes, obscure periods, and expensive models? Watch out Lardies, watch out Warlord, I’m coming for ya!

Lol.  

Enough.

Here’s a game I played last week called “Rumble at Rangpur.”

They might be the famed Hodson’s horse, but meh, I’m an infantryman at heart so they’re just donkey wallopers to me. Nice opening piccie thought to act as blog style click bait.

I’d be the first to agree that an essential component of any good rule set is that players are forced to make decisions of import throughout the proceedings, however I’ve taken this a step or two further because I require my players to do the best with what they’ve got, and what they’ve got isn’t always what they need.  It isn’t everyone’s cup of tea I know, but how many commanders in real life have the right balance of units, perfectly positioned for a task they knew in advance that they’d be given?

First off there’s always an attacker and defender, which is a bit binary maybe, but it keeps things simple. The winner of a D6 roll gets to decide which they want to be. In this case the Indian player rolls highest and chooses to be the attacker, ensuring he gets more points to spend on his force construction than the British player.

Next, the attacker and the defender are both dealt (in secret) a playing card that determines their leadership characteristics. This is admittedly a bit contentious since it forces the player to adopt one of four different military mindsets, and the rules of engagement that your men have been trained to follow. Despite choosing to be the attacker our Indian commander has been dealt a heart which characterises him as either a bumbler a coward or a drunk. He won’t be able to activate all of his forces in a turn and both him and his command unit will run away (which may be a blessing) if effective fire is brought to bear on them. The little red tab marked “bumbler” is slid under his base to remind me of his status.

The British player goes through the same process, again in secret, and it turns out he is “savvy”. His guys are trained to use firepower over melee and he gets an extra chance at activating a unit every turn.

Still not knowing what he’s got to achieve the Indian attacking player now has to choose the forces he’s going to command in whatever fate throws at him. He has thirteen points and here’s what he chose.

The plucky Brit only has nine points as the defender so he chose these chaps:

Sadly I don’t have eight armed civilians (yet) so the bunch on the right have four armed manservant’s to pad out the numbers.

Terrain set up is done only by the defender (who doesn’t know what the attackers mission will be) and one of its prescriptive rules is that there must be a building, bridge, road junction or hill in the middle of the board as well as a cap on the number of hexes that can be covered by terrain overall. 

For this mission the British player chose to deploy a fortified customs house in the centre of the table and a metric ton of fish tank jungle. 

The last playing card drawn (three pictures up - 7 of diamonds) decides the mission that the Indian player, as the attacker, has to undertake. It turns out his mission is “breakthrough” and all he has to do is get one unit off the British players board edge. Simples. Naturally he’s not about to tell the British player what he needs to do.

The final bit of pre match buggering about is deployment. The defender deploys all of his forces anywhere on his own long board edge, while the attacker draws another playing card that limits him to certain portions of the board and even on some occasions allowing units to come in from the side. 

Plucky British defenders deployed along their board edge, with the cavalry on the more open flank. The civilians could have been deployed anywhere on the board, and in hind sight sight I should have put them in the building, but hey ho. Changing your mind afterwards because no one’s around to see you do it is still damned bad form in my book. 

Our Indian player found himself limited to the centre and right flank of his long board edge which meant he couldn’t squeeze everyone in on turn one. His cavalry were kept back and left to deploy when the British player had fully revealed his hand.

The Indian player is squeezed into the centre and right flank of his board edge with no room for his cavalry just yet.

Finally… after all the attackers units that could be deployed had been deployed the British defender is allowed to move one of his units to somewhere else on his board edge so long as their is space to accommodate them in contiguous hexes.

When described in detail this process sounds awfully long winded but I’ve managed the entire process in less than ten minutes every time, which I don’t think is too bad. 

Now then. Because you’ve all been very good and sat nice and still throughout, I’ll end this post here and run through a few aspects of the game itself next time. Soz if it was all a bit nerdy and boring…but face it we’re wargamers and boring and nerdy is what we do.

P.S. Peter Pig has always encouraged us to play the period not the rules so to settle disputes in a period correct manner I suggest punching each other in the face until a resolution is obtained (might being right) rather than any namby pamby dice rolling nonsense. I’m thinking of adding an in game combat bonus for anyone with mutton chops or a handsome moustache too, for what it’s worth.

lol

Laters potaters 

JBM