Exceedingly good cakes

Word play. Not my strong suit. 

To be honest I wanted to call the post “have a look at my bullocks” but I’ve only one (so far)…erm bullock that is (wasn’t there a song about that?) and anyway The Current Mrs Broom said it sounded rude so there you are.

Anywhoo. It transpires that native Indian soldiers did not carry individual water bottles (for caste reasons) and even more surprisingly the majority of British units didn’t either… Initially. Seems they all relied on the regimental “Bhisti” wallah  who followed the units around with a ready supply. 

Here’s mine.

Mr Kipling; apparently a decent poet as well as a maker of teeth rotting Cherry Bakewells, (who knew?) wrote about one such chap called Gunga Din, so for period flavour I’ve included his little ditty below:

Gunga Din

BY RUDYARD KIPLING

You may talk o’ gin and beer   

When you’re quartered safe out ’ere,   

An’ you’re sent to penny-fights an’ Aldershot it;

But when it comes to slaughter   

You will do your work on water,

An’ you’ll lick the bloomin’ boots of ’im that’s got it.   

Now in Injia’s sunny clime,   

Where I used to spend my time   

A-servin’ of ’Er Majesty the Queen,   

Of all them blackfaced crew   

The finest man I knew

Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din,   

He was ‘Din! Din! Din!

‘You limpin’ lump o’ brick-dust, Gunga Din!

‘Hi! Slippy hitherao

‘Water, get it! Panee lao,

‘You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din.’

The uniform ’e wore

Was nothin’ much before,

An’ rather less than ’arf o’ that be’ind,

For a piece o’ twisty rag   

An’ a goatskin water-bag

Was all the field-equipment ’e could find.

When the sweatin’ troop-train lay

In a sidin’ through the day,

Where the ’eat would make your bloomin’ eyebrows crawl,

We shouted ‘Harry By!’

Till our throats were bricky-dry,

Then we wopped ’im ’cause ’e couldn’t serve us all.

It was ‘Din! Din! Din!

‘You ’eathen, where the mischief ’ave you been?   

‘You put some juldee in it

‘Or I’ll marrow you this minute

‘If you don’t fill up my helmet, Gunga Din!’

’E would dot an’ carry one

Till the longest day was done;

An’ ’e didn’t seem to know the use o’ fear.

If we charged or broke or cut,

You could bet your bloomin’ nut,

’E’d be waitin’ fifty paces right flank rear.   

With ’is mussick on ’is back,

’E would skip with our attack,

An’ watch us till the bugles made 'Retire,’   

An’ for all ’is dirty ’ide

’E was white, clear white, inside

When ’e went to tend the wounded under fire!   

It was ‘Din! Din! Din!’

With the bullets kickin’ dust-spots on the green.   

When the cartridges ran out,

You could hear the front-ranks shout,   

‘Hi! ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!’

I shan’t forgit the night

When I dropped be’ind the fight

With a bullet where my belt-plate should ’a’ been.   

I was chokin’ mad with thirst,

An’ the man that spied me first

Was our good old grinnin’, gruntin’ Gunga Din.   

’E lifted up my ’ead,

An’ he plugged me where I bled,

An’ ’e guv me ’arf-a-pint o’ water green.

It was crawlin’ and it stunk,

But of all the drinks I’ve drunk,

I’m gratefullest to one from Gunga Din.

It was 'Din! Din! Din!

’Ere’s a beggar with a bullet through ’is spleen;   

‘’E's chawin’ up the ground, 

‘An’ ’e’s kickin’ all around:

‘For Gawd’s sake git the water, Gunga Din!’

’E carried me away

To where a dooli lay,

An’ a bullet come an’ drilled the beggar clean.   

’E put me safe inside,

An’ just before ’e died,

'I ’ope you liked your drink,’ sez Gunga Din.   

So I’ll meet ’im later on

At the place where ’e is gone—

Where it’s always double drill and no canteen.   

’E’ll be squattin’ on the coals

Givin’ drink to poor damned souls,

An’ I’ll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!   

Yes, Din! Din! Din!

You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!   

Though I’ve belted you and flayed you,   

By the livin’ Gawd that made you,

You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din!

So, other than Deepak, Kamal and Prithvi the bullock (above) I’ve now completed another two platoons of native infantry mutineers and a Royal Artillery 9pdr with crew. Busy busy. 

The green facings on the mutineers identify them as coming from the 28th Bengal Native Infantry Regiment who mutinied at Shahjepore - but I’m sure you knew that already; what am I thinking. 

Right then, I’d better be offski. 

Plenty more painting to be done before I can get this show on the road… including some lurvely laydeez. 

Toodleooh.

Coming along nicely

Yes it’s another gratuitous show and tell post - which I wanted to call “Privates on Parade” until I realised how much extra internet traffic that would generate. 

The recent gift from Mr Morrison has inspired me to raise my painting game and though they’re not to his standard I’m happy knowing that these are the best I can manage. Perhaps more importantly I’ve had a smashing time painting them. It’s been a long time since painting has been anything other than a grind to be got through! I think they’ll cost the mustard on the games table. 

Native troops of a Christian persuasion were allowed to wear shako’s apparently. Lucky them. This unit looks very Napoleonic I think

1st Platoon, B Company, of the 64th Regiment. Though they have traded their red jackets for a variety of hand dyed khaki shirts and shell jackets many have managed to retain their dark blue / black trousers. A unit flag is on the way for these lads.

An adhoc Platoon of Sikh / Punjabi lads led by a British officer. Better turned out than the 64th by God. 

2nd Platoon,  B Company, of the 64th Regiment - who will be tasked with the defence of a fictional town in Northern India.

Still to come are 4 units of mutinous sepoys, 16 irregular cavalry, various civilians, artillery, water carriers, snake charmers and elephants to name but a few. I’ve also got some pretty nice scenery arriving from Sarissa. 

Due here any day now are:

A European officers bungalow.

And one I’ve earmarked as being the District Commissioners office.

So then some decent progress so far - but plenty more to go. I’m planning to make the most of the winter quiet time to get the project finished and hopefully some games in by the summer. 

Empress do some very nice 28mm ECW sculpts too by the way.

Just sayin’.

Toodelooh 

Who’s a lucky lad?

Well I am, as it happens.

As a miserable grumpy old cynic I have constantly been amazed by the support, wit, and camaraderie of our gaming / hobby community. 

One particularly good egg, who is far to modest to want a specific mention, but whose name happens to rhyme with Aly Morrison, recently and completely unbidden, sent me this bunch of lads by way of encouragement for my Indian Mutiny project. 

How bloody wonderful was that?! 

Obviously I don’t want to name the cove in question - but thanks mate they’re hugely appreciated. 

Merry Christmas to one and all

Merry Christmas from Maison Broom to one and all.

The Current Mrs Broom loves Christmas and insists I take part in it even though I’ve got miniatures to paint!

May all the battles you face in 2025 be little wargaming ones.

Unexpected progress

Okay, so the Indian Mutiny project is going well at the moment and I’ve been “knocking out” a whole 2 figures a day. 

Yeah I know. Faster than a thousand greased gazelles.

Also I took the decision to start on the none standard uniformed figures with the largest unit figure count (16 - for The Men Who Would Be Kings). Get the hard stuff out of the way first, eh!

These chaps are the sweepings of the bazaar. Demobilised soldiers, religious fanatics, cutpurses, cutthroats and badmashes - stirred into a hate filled frenzy by that ex havildar still wearing his red uniform. They’re armed with an assortment of swords, spears and a fair few Brown Bess muskets, though they’re going to be outranged by my regulars and their Indian pattern Enfield rifles. No doubt they’ll be swarming over the lads of the 64th foot (next in the painting queue) pretty soon.

The sweepings of the bazaar.

The sculpts are wonderful but I am always struggling against my limited painting skills and the realisation that first and foremost they’re for gaming with. As an example, and despite all the YouTube tutorials I’ve watched, I avoid doing “eyes” not only because they’re fiddly but because they inevitably end up looking like this.

 

The late (great?) Marty Feldman

I suppose on a play balance level it does disadvantage the British who can no longer “fire when they see the whites of their eyes”. lol. 

Anywhoo apologies for the slightly pointless show and tell post, that I promised myself I’d never do, but it’s either write this post or cut up a load of logs - so no contest really.

Once again have a great Xmas!

[insert blog post title here]

Yeah I couldn’t decide on a title for this post since it’ll be covering a lot of bases (wargaming joke?). My first instinct, given the season was to go with…

Ho Ho Ho

But then this is a family friendly blog so mention of three American prostitutes is probably not appropriate.

Lead Tsunami

Would be a good reference to the enormous pile of Empress figures that arrived in the post as part of my Christmas prezzie from the wife… but it does sound a bit like a 1980’s metal band so I’ll leave that be. Note - Lead Tsunami would make a great support act for my equally imaginary 70’s prog rock group Pyroclastic Flow. 

Be careful what you wish for

Was exactly how I felt when I realised how much painting and basing now lies ahead of me.

And that’s before the cavalry, civilians, elephants, and more artillery arrive. 

Glug glug

In reference to my French / Austro Hungarian naval campaign which came crashing to an early and as yet undocumented end after a major convoy was intercepted and the pride of the Austro Hungarian navy was sent to rest on the sea bed.

The protected cruiser Friant was the only French casualty. I’d show you the Austro Hungarian ships but they’re all at the bottom of my plastic hexagonal sea.

Spruegoo 

It’s not often that I’m confronted with something new in the hobby, but too much free internet time led me to something that the cool kids are currently messing around with and which after 50 years of dicking around with models I’d never come across before.

Just take all your old ready to discard plastic sprue drop it in a jar of acetone and leave it overnight. The next day you’ll have a putty like substance that can be molded at will and which will return to spruce plastic hardness in 24hrs. 

While gooey it struggles a bit to retain its shape so I suspect I will be pressing it into molds to produce walls, window frames etc for my Indian mutiny terrain. 

My coffee jar Spruegoo experiment. The fluid on top of the goo is acetone…not a urine sample. The base for the tree (just visible) is as hard as a rock and can be carved / painted etc now that it’s set. 

Next year will see more in the way of painting progress reports than gaming so apologies in advance. Here’s four of my bazar rabble (sans proper basing) to kick things off.

Good job I’ve enjoyed painting these cos there’s another 150 to go! lol. 

Here’s hoping you all have a great Kwanza, Festivus, Christmas, Yule, whatever… and as Dave Allen used to say… May your [insert deity(s) of choice] go with you. 

Hwæt

Okay so this post is not intended in anyway as a review of Age of Penda…but it sort of is.

I bought the Age of Penda Rules by Daniel Mersey because they went along with a lovely range of Copplestone sculpted 18mm miniatures (available from Northstar) and the rules didn’t cost a lot extra. In for a penny and all that.

Now I’ve never had a bad set of rules from Mr Mersey but these looked VERY different and the first time I saw the pre plotted actions section I thought oh God no it’s going to be some sort of SAGA knock off. 

Let me assure you the Age of Penda rules are very far from that. 

For average commanders you get to pick 4 actions for your force per turn, each player taking it in turns to choose one from a suite of options. Once chosen you can use them in any order you want and one unit could perform all of the actions you chose in one turn if that’s your fancy. There is a subtle degree of strategy involved since once an action has been marked by a player it is blocked to his opponent. Reckon you’re about to get pelted by skirmishers? Choose the “shoot” action if you can and deny it to the enemy! I would go so far as to say there’s even a faint whiff of chess about it. 

I’m not going to laboriously go through a game turn by turn, but here are a few sample pictures taken from a recent testing sesh which might help illuminate a couple of points. 

Gratuitous eye candy shot of the 18mm lads in action.

The tactics chart. Both commanders were average so get to place 4 counters each, one at a time. Initially the red player rolled highest on a 1D6 so got to choose a tactic first. They chose “seize the initiative” which means they get to choose a tactic first in the next turn with no die roll off  - the down side being that only leaves three actions to use for their force. The “special tactics” box has a suite of associated actions to pick from (the paper on the left), but you don’t have to commit to what the chosen action will be until the moment you play it. 

For his first turn the red player selects “special tactics” and chooses “rush” which allows him to move mounted or skirmish units up to two hexes rather than the usual one. Red’s skirmish units move into the trees.

The green player uses “move” to hustle forward two units of armoured warriors to contest the woods. A chosen tactic is applied to all friendly units in an area, but only three units of any type from either side may occupy an area at one time.

The results of the warrior / skirmishers clash were that the attacking warriors took one hit and the skirmishers two. The dice strengths do not directly relate to the number of men killed but are rather a reflection of the units fighting ability - which can, handily, be rallied back if you’re lucky. 

About a turn or so later the skirmishers have retired and rallied back their strength. The red players three big blocks of armoured warriors advance far enough to potentially move into green’s square so their special tactic was used to form a shieldwall. A shieldwall only lasts for the turn but I made a crappy marker out of unused mdf bases and green stuff as you can see as an aide mémoire.

Ignoring the shieldwall red’s units enter the green leaders square and a huge old bucket of dice is rolled - needing 4, 5 or 6’s for a hit. I won’t bore you with the outcome. 

If you’ve limited space a moderate budget and an interest in gaming this period I would highly recommend these rules. Take it from me as an early medieval / dark age nerd. 

If you want to know how much of a nerd, here are some period related books in my library. 

Proof of nerdiness - should proof be needed.

Two tomes that are highly recommended for anyone interested in the nuts and bolts of fighting in this period.

Lair of the uber nerd. Learning to read and speak olde englisc is not necessary - but I went there anyway. The devil finds work for idle hands to do. lol. 

Till next time gesithas!